Friday 2 August 2013

Fifty Shades of gray inspires people to put there bit's in toasters: not exactly safe sex

Seriously: I simply cannot believe that people would be this hilariously stupid – On one hand I now know that when my erotic fiction comes out that I’m probably going to make a big wodge of cash from it, but on the other … you know what no … erotic fiction does not cause people to put their weaner in a toaster of all things – and I find it hard to believe the fire services assertion that most of these instances may have anything to do with reading erotica.
‘The fire brigade urged those using handcuffs in the bedroom “to always keep they key handy”’: No s*** Sherlock. If I recall correctly most handcuffs that can be bought from sex shops actually have a safety catch on them as well anyway.
Seriously sex toys come with instructions and people’s man parts and lady parts shouldn’t need to come with an instruction guide:

Point 1) Do not put you appendage in a toaster or vacuum cleaner ;)
Point 2) Don’t lose the handcuff keys
Point 3) If you ignore points 1 & 2 please be aware the fire service staff who turn up are NOT strippergrams

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